


Love Keeps Us Together

by Hiding_scars



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Major cutting trigger, Please be safe, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 07:42:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5819986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiding_scars/pseuds/Hiding_scars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay I forgot about this one and just started working on it so here you go... Let me know what you think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Keeps Us Together

*Paisley's POV*

My phone dings and I pick it up. Snapchat from Cali boy: "hey Paisley we miss you! I'm really bored we just go-" the video cuts him off.

Other ding. Snapchat from Cali boy: "I hate this whole 15 second concept." 

Other ding: "anyway we just got done playing a show." Then he sends a picture. Why don't we just ft?

I take a cute selfie and send it back, "calling you now." 

I call him and he answers rather quickly. "Hey what's up? Where are you guys right now?"

"We are still in the dressing room. They want to wait a little for the crowd to die down a little before we go back to the hotel." He starts to tell a funny story until I see Luke in the back ground. 

"Cal I gotta go. Fun talk." I hung up before he could say something. I curled into a ball and started hyperventilating. I couldn't breathe and my chest started to hurt. 

Cal texted and asked if I was okay and why I hung up so fast. "No I'm not okay. I need to hear your voice again." 

My breathing slowed but the air in my chest felt heavier as I answered the call coming in. "Pais, what's wrong?"

"I s-saw Lu-key." I huffed out.

"Okay and? I thought you guys agreed that you can hook up with other people?" He asked.

"We did. He d-did. L-look C-ali, it's complicated. It s-till h-hurts." I told him.

"I'm sorry babygirl. I wish there was a way I could help." He whispered.

"You're the best." I whispered back. "I'm gonna let you go back and do whatever."

"Okay. I love you. If you need anything, call me." He said gently before I hung up the phone.

I rolled back over into the covers and decided not to move for a few hours. I heard my phone ding and thought it was Cal so I checked it. Isn't it like three in the morning anyway? 

"Hey princess, what's up?" It was Luke.

"I'm really not in the mood to talk to you." I answered back.

"That's a bit childish, don't you think?" God that's really setting the bar low, especially for Luke.

"Look asshole, I'm depressed and you don't care so just leave me alone before I decided to hurt myself." I replied.

The typing bubbles went up and then disappeared and I thought I got rid of him till I got a call. I declined it and he called again. I declined that one and he started texting me. "Look I know you think I don't care but I do."

"What's wrong princess?" 

"Please answer me."

"I'm scared I'm gonna lose you." 

That's when I replied back. "You are. Bye." 

"No baby please." 

"Paisley Johnson I swear to god if you leave me." 

"Pais please." 

"I love you." 

"I'm gonna call you." 

And then the phone rings again. This time I pick it up. "P-pais, please d-don't do this. I love you and you're my best friend. I really n-need you."

"Luke it's not that simple." I cried out.

"Then explain to me. I care so fucking much and I'm not letting this go unsolved." He said loud enough for me to hear.

"But its gonna seem so stupid to you." I replied.

"I'm with the three biggest idiots in the world. Nothing you say can seem stupid." He told me.

"But it's different Luke. I can't stand seeing you with groupies. We agreed to see other people and I'm hung up on your stupid ass." I told him, quickly regretting the words that came out of my mouth.

"Pais." He started.

"No, I'm sorry, I've got to go." I hung up before he could say anything and threw my phone across the room. 

"God I hate life. I've never wanted to die more than I do right now." I walked to the bathroom and picked out the deepest cutting blade I had. 

I got on the counter and started slashing my thighs, making sure they were deep and long. I really wanted to kill myself but I promised Cal I could handle myself while they were gone. It's obviously a hard promise to keep and he wouldn't expect me too, which is why he told me he would write one more song about me and be done with his career. 

I slashed more and more cuts until my legs looked absolutely disgusting. Since I couldn't drive myself, considering I felt like I was gonna faint, I slowly walked to my phone and called Mali Koa. "Hey girly what's up?" 

"I need to go to the hospital again..." 

"Pais... I'm on my way." She sighed.

"Thank you." I whispered quietly and hung up. 

About 15 minutes later Mali showed up and walked to my room. "Pais? Are you in here?" 

"The bathroom!" I called. 

She walked over and looked at my legs, "Pais. Why do you keep doing this to yourself?" 

"It takes my pain away," I smiled.

"No baby girl it doesn't. It makes it worse. Your smile is just a mask you have learned to control." Her words made my smile drop and she started wrapping my cuts. Once they were done she turns around and let's me get on her back. 

She walks down the stairs and we go out to the car. I get in and buckle up waiting for her to do the same. Once she's settled she starts driving the short drive to the hospital. 

When we get there she lets me get back on her back and carries me in. The office personal recognize me and all say hi. We check in and they lead us to a room. "So you are in here again for the how manyth time since the boys left?" 

"15th." I told the Doctor shamelessly.

"Do you think we can stop there?" She asked sewing up my cuts.

"I don't think so." I said and she frowned. "Look honestly I would want to but I'm not going to lie to you and have to face you when I end up here again." 

"I understand." She sighed. 

I sat quietly watching as the needle pierced my skin and then it was seen shut. When she finished she looked up. "Alright all done." 

"How many this time?" I asked. 

"37. Less than last time." She said gladly.

"Not my choice trust me." I rolled my eyes at her and hopped off the table. "Well thank you. See you soon." 

"I guess I will," she sighed as I grabbed Mali's hand. 

We walked out of the office and she took me back to my house. She walked me up to my room and made sure I was comfortable in bed. "Are you gonna be okay if I leave?"

"I'm not gonna be okay no matter what so you can leave." I smiled sarcastically.

"I mean can you not kill yourself?" She asked bluntly.

"Well Calum made me promise I won't so I think I'm good." I unenthusiastically answered.

"And you listen to him?" She asks. 

"Well I'm important to him and he's my bestfriend so ya." I told her.

"Well that makes me feel better." She said. "I'll be back soon to check on you." 

"I'm not five." I said a bit rudely. 

"Ok then miss priss. Call me if you need me." She said turning to leave.

"Wait Mali, I'm sorry. I'm just still really upset. Cuddle?" I asked.

She turns back and gives me a small smile before climbing in my bed. She wrapped her arms around me and I started to cry, hugging back tightly. "I think he likes hurting me." 

"Darling you know that's not true. Luke loves you." She tried to reassure me.

"If he loved me why would he want to see other people?" I asked getting more upset. 

"He's a horny teenage boy. He knows what sex feels like and now he doesn't want it to end." She told me. I didn't really care the reason I just knew I didn't like it. "I really hate to leave but I have to go meet up with Todd." 

"It's okay. I'll call you if I need anything. I love you." I said.

"I love you too Pais." She said climbing out of the bed. 

She left and I sat on my phone for a couple hours till morning. Luke called and I declined. Same for Calum. I just think it's better for me if I don't talk to them for a while. 

*1 week later* 

Ashton called yesterday and informed me that the boys were going to be back today. I sat in the airport at the gate they were supposed to be coming in from and Bryana said she'd be there in a minute. 

When she got here, she hugged me and sat in the chair next to me. She smirked and I knew what was coming, "soo are you happy Luke's coming home?"

I pulled up my shorts revealing the fresh scars, "do I look happy to see him?" 

She frowned. "Guess not. You shouldn't do that to yourself. Ash told me all about him and I cried forever and felt so sorry he felt like that." 

I looked toward her and blinked back the tears causing a few to escape anyway. The next thing I know Ashton kissed Bryana's head and was pulling me to the side. I wiped my eyes and tugged my sleeves down over my hands. "Pais what's wrong?" 

"Bryana brought up, umm nothing. I'm good." I laughed trying to stop the tears which made them come more.

"Please tell me Paisley. I see you pulling at your sleeves." He said.

"She brought up how you used to self harm and it made me think about how we were supposed to get clean together and I failed and once you were clean for a while I felt alone and it just made me emotional. I'm good though, I promise." I told him still drying my eyes.

"Paisy why didn't you ever tell me? I didn't know you felt like that." He frowned.

"It doesn't matter. Look you guys just got back; I don't want to talk about it right now." I told him.

"Well this conversation isn't finished." He gave me a hug and we walked back over to where the rest of the guys were coming over followed by a bunch of fans. 

I was met with Mikey first who hugged me and said it would be okay. Next was Calum who hugged me and asked if I was feeling better. Luke still wasn't over here so I figured he was with a groupie or something. "Luke got stuck in baggage claim so he'll meet us at the house." 

"Baggage claim." I scoffed.

There was a tap on my shoulder so I turned around. "I really was but I couldn't stand to be away from you any longer." 

Luke smiled and I got really excited. He opened his arms and I jumped into a hug. He spun me around and kissed my cheek. "I missed you princess." 

"I missed you too." I smiled kissing his shoulder. He put me down and grabbed my hand. 

"Okay I'm starving so can we leave now?" Mikey asked. 

We laughed because of course Mikey wants food. We split the cars, Luke, me, Calum, then Ash, Bryana, and Mikey. We drove to the house and I helped the boys unload their stuff. 

Once we were done Luke slipped his hand in mine and pulled me upstairs trying not to noticeably leave. He shuts the door to his room and we lay on the bed. He wraps his arm around my back and stares into my eyes. I feel like I'm blushing so I try to look anywhere but his face. I take my shorts off because it's really hot and feel Luke's hands slide down my body. His smile drops and he pulls the blanket up to look at my legs. It was only then that I realized I still had the stitches in. Fuck.

Luke looked back up to me and pulled me in really tight. "I'm sorry." 

I decided to ignore him and go to sleep instead. I know that's what we both needed so why not. 

*in the morning*

I woke up and Luke's arms were still around me. He was on his phone scrolling through snapchats. I rolled over and snuggled into his chest so he put his phone away and cuddled back. "Goodmorning my beautiful princess." 

"Goodmorning my handsome ass kisser." I said in the most genuine way possible.

"Why am I an ass kisser? I've always called you princess." He frowned. "Is this about-,"

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm not arguing with you." I said.

"Okay so what do you want to do today?" He asked.

"What time is it?" I yawned.

"11. I decided to let you sleep in." He smiled. 

"Fuck really? There is a reason I wake up at 7 every morning Luke!" I yelled. I got out of bed and went to his closet in search of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"Where do you have to be?" He asked.

"I have to get these fucking stitches out." I said putting on some pants. "Where the fuck are all of your long sleeves?"

"They're in the wash. Just wear a band tee." He said.

"I'm not fucking showing you my arms. Fuck that." I said putting some vans on. "I'm so late."

"I'm sorry. I just thought-," his eyes were sad but I was pissed.

"Ya well don't." I walked out slamming the door. When I got downstairs everyone was staring at me. I dropped the mad look and my eyes started tearing up. "Ash can you take me to the hospital?" 

"Y-ya of course." He ran to get his keys but I was tired of the stares so I went outside.

I got in Ashton's car and a few seconds later he was in too. He started the car and pulled out of the driveway. 

About halfway there he turned down the radio and looked at me. "Is everything okay? Between you and Luke and all?" 

I looked over and bit my lip trying to hold in the tears. I shook my head and looked out of the window. Tears started streaming down my face and I pulled my knees to my chest. I felt Ashton's hand placed on my knee. "It's gonna get better. It may not seem like that but it will. I know I don't cut anymore but I still want you to get better. We all do. Especially Luke. That night you called him he was so sad. The next day he wouldn't talk to us and he barely sang the entire show. He thought you killed yourself when you wouldn't talk to us and we had to find out from Mali." 

"I just don't care anymore Ashton. I don't have any emotions because all I can think about is death. Luke used to make me so happy and now I can't look at him without wanting to scream. I just promised Cal I wouldn't kill myself while you guys were gone but now that you're back I don't give a fuck. I really wanted to drive myself just so I could drive over the bridge but I know that all of you care and I'm trying to keep you guys happy. It's just not worth it anymore." We pulled into the parking lo and Ashton parked. 

He looked over to me, "Paisley I swear all of it is worth it. We love you so much. I swear you can find your happiness again. Just give it another chance. For me?" 

I rolled my eyes and shook my head in annoyance, "this world is so stupid." 

"It's worth it." He gave me a sad smile before we got out of the car and grabbed my hand.

*a few hours later*

Luke came downstairs and sat next to me on the couch. He grabbed my hand and I gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry about this morning. I should have woken you up."

I shook my head. "I just wanted a reason to be mad at you."

"Oh." His smile dropped and he looked everywhere except me.

"I'm just hurting, Luke. You don't understand but I swear I'm trying." I said. He nodded but still wouldn't look at me. I put my hand on his cheek and made him look at me. "I really want us to be on good terms okay?" 

"C-can I kiss you?" He asked. 

His question caught me off guard and it made me think. "Why?"

"Because you're beautiful and I love the taste of your lips and we haven't yet since I've been back." He said nervously.

"No, why did you ask?" I questioned.

"Oh um. I just wanted to start over, being a gentleman. I feel like you hated our first kiss because I didn't ask and you'd never kissed anyone." He started looking at the ground and his grip on my hand tightened.

I blushed at everything he just said and my heart started racing. "You may." 

"W-what?" He was so nervous. It was cute.

"You can kiss me." I said. 

"Oh, okay?" He put his hand on my cheek guiding his face to mine and pressed a sweet passionate kiss to my lips. He pulled away and smiled. "You're lips are so kissable." 

"Then I don't understand why they aren't being kissed." I joked but Luke took it seriously and leaned in to kiss me again. 

He started with a few short and sweet kisses before pulling me closer to him and laying me back on the couch. He hovered over me and started with the long passionate kisses soon turning into a make out. I giggled when he started smiling through the kiss and pulled him in to cuddle me. 

"Where is everyone anyway?" He asked.

"Bryana and Ashton went to eat. Chloë and Mikey went to a movie. And Calum went to Brandon's house cause he said they would get bothered over here." I explained. 

"Oh.. Well do you want to watch a movie?" He asked. His phone dinged and he picked it up. Some girl name Mandy was texting him and he smiled.

"No not really. I'm tired. But I have to go to your house." I yawned.

"To see Jamie? I'll come too." He said.

"No I don't think so." I told him playfully.

"So I have to stay here by myself?" He whined. 

"Why don't you invite Mandy over?" I got up and grabbed my keys. 

"Paisley wait." He shouted as I walked out the door. 

I wasn't leaving because of that I really did have to go to Jamie's. It just hurt when I saw how happy he made her. I picked up my phone and called Calum. "Hey babygirl what's up?"

"Mandy is the groupie from?" I asked.

"Sydney.. Why do you ask?" He said. 

"And she knew you were coming back?" I wondered.

"She did. What the hell is going on?" He asked.

"I'm going to Jamie's. Tell lover boy I said hi. I might see you tonight I don't know yet." I told him. 

"Okay please stay safe and call me if you need anything." He said. I hung up and drove quietly to Jamie's house. 

When I arrived I let myself in and was met with Liz. "Hey Paisley, Jamie is just up in his room."

"Okay thank you Mrs.L." I walked in and Jamie was making out with some guy I'd never seen before. "So you found yourself a boyfriend and didn't tell me? How sweet?" 

"Um who is this and why is she prettier than me?" The blonde asked.

"El this is Paisley. She's my best friend. She's like, in love with my brother or something." He told the guy. 

"Am not." I blushed.

"Why is her name prettier than mine too? I don't like this girl." He found one of those? 

"Well then you can leave." He smiled politely and the boy groaned in frustration and slipped on his shirt before walking out of the door. 

I plopped down on the bed next to him and got on my phone. Luke had been texting me and calling me. I called him back and put it on speaker. "You're gonna answer this."

Luke picked up, "princess please come back. I don't wanna do this." 

"Okay daddy. I'm sorry. You might want to be waiting on the bed when I get there." Jamie joked in a girly voice.

"Fuck off Jamie. Where's Paisley?" He asked sounding panicked. 

"I'm here daddy. I've been such a good girl daddy." Jamie said and I laughed obnoxiously.

"I'll be there in a second. You guys are fucking annoying." He hung up the phone and we both died laughing.

"Why did you start with the daddy kink?" I giggled.

"Don't you guys do that when you have sex or something?" Jamie laughed.

"We don't have sex?" I said confused.

"Why not?" He laughed. He got serious all of a sudden. "Are you still a virgin?" 

"Shut up. It's cause I chose to be." I said punching his arm.

"Well fucking duh. I don't know anyone who wouldn't want to fuck you. You're hot." He said.

"Jamie stop. This is not what best friends are for." I said. "And I'm not hot." 

"Yes you are. They don't hire anyone to be a model." He said. "Except maybe Bryana. Yikes." 

"Jamie stop." I laughed. "I love Bryana she's beautiful. Her and Ash are perfect for each other." 

"I was joking. Bryana is smoking hot. I don't know where Ashton found her but damn." He laughed. I was laughing so hard at this point, I couldn't breathe. 

"So is that your boyfriend?" I asked pointing in the direction the boy went. 

"Nah he's some guy met at the club and we have just been hooking up." He said.

"How do guys just hook up with people? That's disgusting to me." I said.

"Because guys love sex and they don't care who it's with. If this is towards Luke let me answer that differently. If you and Luke have had sex then he wouldn't want any other girl because there is a special relationship between you guys. But since you haven't he's going to be a horny teenager and get what he can." He said. "You're really fucking special Pais. I promise you he sees that." 

"Thanks but I don't think he does." I gave him a sad smile and started playing with the blanket. "It just hurts to see him with someone else and I can't help but get jealous. I have the fear he will find someone who can give him what he wants and he'll drop me. But I wouldn't be like that if I knew I could call him mine." 

A tear rolled down my cheek and Jamie's arms wrapped around me. "Everything will turn out the way it's supposed to, I promise." 

I wiped the tear on my cheek and tried to smile. He placed a kiss to my head and we laid down to cuddle. 

After a few minutes there was a knock on the door and it slowly opened. Luke peaked in and I tried to hide in Jamie's chest. "Are you okay Paisley?" 

"Yes." My answer was muffled by Jamie's chest. 

"Will you come talk to me real quick?" He asked still only half inside the door. 

I groaned and dragged myself out of the bed. 

He backed out of the door way and I walked out, closing the door. "Yes?" 

"Please stop being mad at me. I don't know if this is a joke or if you're actually hurting but I want you to be happy. I don't want you hurting yourself because of me. I don't like causing you pain. And I'm so sorry if I've done any of those things to you. And I'm just rambling so I'm just gonna kiss you because I love the taste of your lips." He leaned forward and kissed me gently. He lifted me onto his front and pressed me against the wall. "Please just forgive me."

"I always do." I smiled pecking his lips again. 

"So will you come home now?" He pouted. 

"I didn't come here to get away from you; I came to see Jamie." I told him.

"But you aren't mad?" He asked. 

"Course not. If you want to stick around I'm probably gonna leave in an hour." I kissed his nose and he smiled.

"It's okay. I'll go home and let you have time alone. I'll see you later." He kissed me again and tried to back away but I leaned in and held it. 

"Okay." I bit my lip trying to hold back my smile and he disappeared down the hallway. I went back into Jamie's room and climbed back in the bed. "Why does he do that to me?" 

"Kiss you? I thought that's what you wanted." He asked.

"I did but I'm mad at him one second and then he comes and kisses me and I'm happy but I'm still not his so I'm sad again." I sighed.

"But he kissed you. Aren't you already his?" Jamie asked.

"No he always kissed me. That was why I'm not allowed to be sad about this. I'm basically a groupie with a personal background." I said.

"Don't talk so less of yourself. Groupies follow the band in hopes of sex, you are their best friends who just so happened to fall in love with one of them." He told me.

"Story of my life." I sighed. A sudden smile appeared on my face."But do you think I actually have a chance with him?" 

"Are you kidding me? He's in love with you." Jamie squealed. 

"Ugh now I wanna go home." I said with a smile on my face.

"Then go!" He encouraged.

"But I don't want to leave you." I sighed. 

"We can hang out tomorrow and you can tell me all about it." He laughed. "Get your ass over there."

"Okay, okay. I'm going." I laughed. I kissed his cheek and grabbed my keys, heading out the door. I said goodbye to Mrs.L and got in my car. 

When I got home none of the cars were there and I figured Luke just went to the store or something. I went to his room and laid in his bed. I started playing on my phone until I got bored and turned it off. I fell asleep after a while and dreamt my silent dreams. 

*around two hours later* 

I felt a kiss on my lips and slowly woke up. The lips kept kissing me until I was awake enough to see the figure hovering over me. I closed my eyes, smiling, and put my hands in Luke's sweatpants."Well good morning sunshine." 

"Where were you?" I whispered, kissing him again. 

"We had practice." He tilted his head to the other side and kissed me again. 

"Oh did you?" I smiled as the kisses kept coming and breathed in his sweetness.

"Mhm. Why are these still on?" He kissed me slowly pulling at the waistband of his sweatpants that I had on. 

"It was cold without you so I had to keep them on." I stuck out my lip and batted my eyes at Luke.

He gave me another kiss, pulling my bottom lip gently between his teeth. "Well now I'm back so they can leave." 

He pulled them off slowly giving me a kiss every few inches they slid down. I felt weak under his touch. He knew how to fuck me up the most. He was the drug I was addicted too. 

Once they were off he started a long sweet French kiss. He smirked through it and laid down behind me so he could cuddle me. He pulled me close to his chest and pressed his lips to my neck. He fell asleep for a while so I played around on social media. 

I ended up getting uncomfortable on my side so I turned over accidentally waking up Luke. He groaned and his eyes fluttered open. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you." 

"S'okay. I need to wake up anyway or I'll be up all night." He told me. 

"Do you have a bottle of water in your fridge?" I asked.

"I should." He shifted his arm up so I could get up and I walked to the mini fridge. 

I grabbed a bottle of water and looked up at him, "want anything?" 

"You." 

I rolled my eyes taking a sip of water as I walked back to the bed and climbed in. Luke ran his fingers gently up my side until they rested on my waist. He kissed me a few times slowly and pulled back. "It wasn't a joke miss sassy pants." 

I blushed and he started kissing me again. His fingers played with the hem of my shirt as he kissed me and he started to take it off. For some reason I let him; probably cause I'm addicted.

His fingers roamed my body causing me to blush again. When he went to pull off his shirt I broke the kiss and sat up. "Luke I can't do this." 

I put my head in my hands and waited for him to make fun of me. "It's not scary."

Forgetting that I'm a virgin I didn't even think about that factor. "No Luke I can't do this. This sounds so damn selfish but I want you to myself. I don't want you fucking other girls. I just think it's wrong and I don't even know how you do that. Even if it's not me I think you should give a girl your undivided attention. Especially if they've waited around for you for 5 years." I got off the bed and started walking to the door.

"Paisley wait." I didn't have the courage to look back so walked out of the door and down to Mikey's room.

I knocked on the door and walked in. I went straight to his closet and slipped on a shirt and some sweatpants. Him and Chloë were laying on the bed and didn't even ask. I climbed in and cuddled Mikey's back. I started to cry and felt his hand set on top of mine and then another which I assumed was Chloë's. "I'm so done with Luke. I hate him so much." 

"No you don't Paisy. You are so in love with him it hurts." Mikey whispered. 

"Fucking ya it hurts cause he doesn't love me back." I said.

"Yes he does. He jus-"

"Then explain to me why he still fucks groupies and sees other girls. And don't even tell me it's because he's a horny teenager. You guys are all horny teenagers but do you fuck other people?" I asked.

"No I guess we don't but we're in relationships." It suddenly dawned upon him, "and your saying if Luke loved you, you would be too and he wouldn't do that yada yada. But I swear he still loves you Pais, he's just an idiot." 

"Well I don't feel loved by him or anyone. Thanks for the talk but I'm gonna go home." I got out of bed and started walking to the door. 

"Now wait just a damn minute." He got out of bed and ran to the door so I couldn't open it. "I know you're hurting and all but don't ever let me here you say you aren't loved. I can't speak for anyone but myself but I love you, I know damn sure that Luke loves you, and so does the entire house so quit your pity party. You can leave if you want but if you do without saying that you are loved I'll know who you truly are."

I was so glad he's here to stop me. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Thank you." 

I let go of his neck and he moved out of the door way for me to leave. 

As I walked to my car I heard the front door open and Luke call my name. I rolled my eyes and started to open my door but he ran to the car. "Luke I just can't do this anymore. I'm more sad than I am happy. I'm selfish but I need to be selfish right now for my own good. I do to much to try and please you when all I am is a second choice."

"Okay I heard you out now you have to do the same for me. I'm so sorry it took me five years but I've realized you are the girl of my dreams. I need you in my life Pais. I don't want anyone else. Ever since that night you called Calum I haven't even been able to say another girls name. You have been on my mind and I anticipated the entire flight home because I couldn't wait to kiss you and hold you. I wanted everything to go back to normal and more than anything I wanted you to be mine. I still do if your willing. I'm so in love with you it makes my heart hurt to see you sad. Please give me another chance?" He asked.

"If you're over other girls why were you texting Mandy?" I asked.

"When we had band practice she showed up at the door and asked if I wanted to go back to hers." When I heard that I rolled my eyes in disgust and opened the car door. Luke grabbed my hand and shut the door. "Wait a minute, you said you'd hear me out. I told her no because I had someone waiting for me at the house. She got mad and left. When I showed back here I was smiling at her text cause she sent me this." He pulled up the text and clicked on the picture. It was a picture of Luke smiling at me and staring in deep admiration while I was laughing my head off. "She asked if this was the girl and I replied with yes that is Paisley."

I couldn't help but smile and it was like suddenly the evil spirits had been lifted out of my body. "Luke I'm so sorry. I'm such a bitch. I love you and if the offer is still available, I would love to be your girlfriend." 

"Gladly. But you have to stop this." He turned my hand over and examined my wrist. I pulled out of his grasp and was annoyed because I really didn't want him to see them. "Baby I'm not gonna judge you I just want you to stay here with me." 

"I wasn't going to kill myself." I poked.

"It's called an accident for a reason." He looked into my eyes and kissed my cheek. "I love you." 

"I love you too." He smiled.

"Awww kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss." We looked back and the guys were watching from the second floor, chanting. He kissed my lips softly, holding the kiss as long as he could. "Yay! They are finally together!" 

We both smiled through it and his arms snaked around my waist pulling me in tightly. "I've still gotta go to my house though." 

He pulled back just a little, "okay. I'm really tired so I'm probably gonna go to bed. You can come up whenever you get here." 

"Of course." I smiled and let my arms linger as we pulled away. He went back inside and I got in the car, making the drive to my house. 

When I arrived, I went straight to my room and laid on the bed. I don't know why I was so tired, I've been sleeping all day. Abby and Elizabeth walked in and sat on the bed letting Bleu in. "Come here Bleu. What a good boy. I missed you so much." I looked to the girls and they were holding in their giggles. "What?"

"You and Luke! You're all over the Internet." They squealed.

"We what?" My mouth fell open and Lizzy and Abby started to giggle. 

"Ya some girl named Mandy posted a picture of you guys and Luke looked so in love with you." Abby fawned.

"You guys are perfect for each other." Lizzy added. 

"Thanks guys. I'm gonna go to bed though. I'm really over today." I sighed.

"Let us know if you need anything." They gave me sad smiles before walking out and shutting the door. 

"Bleu what am I going to do.." I sighed. 

I pulled up Instagram and decided to look at the picture again. This time I noticed we were holding hands and that made things worse. Like the picture is a gazillion years old, how'd she even find it? The guys are the only ones who had it besides me. She posted it with the caption, "who's making bets already? I give it 10 days." 

Well that hurt. I looked down in the comments which was a mistake. "I give it three maybe four." "She's probably a hoe." "Why did he chose her? lol" "I've seen better." 

Then there was one girl. "Holy bajebious she is beautiful. What's her name? Where did he find her?? They both look like angels. Luke looks so happy. And if he's happy I'm happy." 

"Paisley :) what's yours?" I commented on the photo and clicked on her name and followed her. 

I scrolled down and there were so many more comments. I honestly don't know what I'd done to deserve this. I should have gone back to Luke's or at least called him but I didn't. This is where I messed up.

I went into the bathroom and found a blade and started drawing. My arms were already so full and I just got the stitches taken out a week ago. I'm such a disappointment to myself as well as everyone around me. 

Everyone is right about me. They have seen better. I don't really know why he chose me. I'm pathetic. And I get told to stop, and I keep going. I'm such a fuck up. Luke doesn't actually love me. He couldn't.


End file.
